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ST. PETERSBURG, Florida-

Tonight’s story is an absolute StrangeRush.com dream come true. This is the stuff that StrangeRush was made for. (Please watch the YouTube video below before reading the rest of the post.)

Lori Davenport of St. Petersburg Florida (and some other unseen, mystery person) wanted to make this a Thanksgiving they’d never forget…..one for the ages. Lori and her mysterious other decided that on Monday, November 22, 2010…..four days before Thanksgiving, and five days before Black Friday, they were going to set up camp (tents and all) in front of the Best Buy in St. Petersburg, Florida, in anticipation of the biggest shopping day of the year, Black Friday. Now, anyone with any life at all can definitely verify that there are much better ways to spend Thanksgiving Eve, Thanksgiving Eve’s Eve, and Thanksgiving’s Eve’s Eve’s Eve. I can understand camping the night before (maybe…..maybe not) but four full days before? Come on.

Well, at first I honestly thought Lori was crazy. But that’s how I felt BEFORE I heard Lori’s compelling argument for why camping out for four days before Black Friday is really a great idea. I have to admit, Lori really makes a well articulated case for why everyone should spend the four days leading up to Thanksgiving camped out in front of a Best Buy. There is definitely NO better way to express Lori’s passion for her new adventure than to let her tell you in her very own words. Lori’s first long-winded statement, verbatim, and in its entirety:

“We are camping out waiting for 5 am Friday, for Black Friday, for the doors to open. Ummm….we are also….ummm….first place as you see, ummm…..we’re just like the regular people, we’re not here first because we are, you know, planning on this big huge, that we have to have purchase. Umm of course we are going to shop like we do every year. But to us it’s more about being first and having the whole experience of what this brings to you. Ummm we never knew that we were gonna be, we never thought, we need to be first for any sort of firstness just for our own firstness…..ummm…..to make ourselves happy and that we accomplished something it was a personal goal we did not know we were gonna be first in Pinellas counties in Florida or anywhere around the world that was not in our mind.”

Oh dear. Where do I even begin? I was absolutely determined to quote sweet Lori word for word so I pulled up her interview on YouTube and listened to it, then rewound it….listened to it again, rewound it….listened to it again, rewound it……at least 20 times to make sure I copied every last word down perfectly in order. You’d think I would have started getting frustrated that it took so many damn times to make out her mess of words (who knows maybe I’m an idiot), but I swear the more I listened to her semi-English phrases of gobbledegook the more I laughed and laughed.

Let’s dissect Lori’s comment and take a closer look at what she was painfully attempting to say:

Firstness: “We are also….ummm….first place as you see.” –Ummm, hell yeah you are, Lori. Not a lot of competition for you on this inaugural year of your big event, is there? Maybe next year you ought to notify the public that you will be camping out in front of frickin’ Best Buy four days before Thanksgiving….. ummm yeah, you’ll win hands down every year if no one else knows about it.

Secondness: “Ummm…..we’re just like the regular people.” –Ummm yeah, well, I’m secretly the Pope, but please don’t tell anyone.

Thirdness: “We’re not here first because we are, you know, planning on this big huge, that we have to have purchase.” –Ummm……I feel really stupid but, I don’t get it. Not even the faintest clue. Translator please.

Fourthness: “Ummm of course we are going to shop like we do every year.” –Ummm……couldn’t you have arrived on Black Friday at 5am with normal folk and still done that?”

Fifthness: “But to us it’s more about being first and having the whole experience of what this brings to you.” –Ummm…..being first to shop, five days before the damn store opens, and not even know what you really want? All it’s going to bring you is 15 minutes of lame-fame for a competition you are the only competitor in (hard to lose, huh?)

Sixthness: “Ummm we never knew that we were gonna be, we never thought, we need to be first for any sort of firstness just for our own firstness.” –Ummm……Okay seriously, I’m gonna have to be the firstness one to ask, “Lori, what the hell is in your water supply?”

Seventhness: “Ummm…..to make ourselves happy and that we accomplished something it was a personal goal we did not know we were gonna be first in Pinellas counties in Florida or anywhere around the world that was not in our mind.” –Ummm……well the firstness thing you need to know is everyone in Pinellas County, Florida, and the world is laughing at you, Lori Firstness.

But there’s even more. Again, Lori, I can’t thank you enough for making StrangeRush.com’s entire month. Here’s what else Lori said:

“Thanksgiving doesn’t mean just that you have to go to somebody’s house and have the traditional turkey and spend 8 hours a day ummmm, you know, cooking and cleaning and enjoying the good meal and the family and then cleaning up and going home and sitting on the couch and falling asleep watching football.”

Absolutely Genius, Lori….ummm……You nailed it, AGAIN!!! Instead of, “Enjoying the good meal and the family, then watching football while falling asleep,” I’d rather sit in a cold tent in front of Best Buy, five days before Black Friday, twiddling my thumbs, eating off the McDonalds dollar menu. But what’s this miraculous tent that Lori has anyway? Here’s her first hand account of this wonderful dwelling:

“Well this is our tent here that we have. Ummm, we pretty much have everything that we need. It zips up really good to keep any of the bugs or ants out, which there really isn’t very many ants in here or any bugs in this area so we’re pretty happy about that. And we just have the basic stuff we have our air mattress bed, we have our chair, and we have our pillows and our blankets.” Geez, Lori…..looks like you’ve got everything  you need but a kitchen sink and a life. And just so you know, it’s not the zippers and the area you live in keeping the bugs and ants away…….the bugs and ants also saw your interview and they were too embarrassed to come around you.

Okay, so here’s the deal, Lori. I’m a competitive guy and I mean REALLY frickin’ competitive, and you didn’t even notify me that there was an open competition going on. So, with all due respect, I’m a little peeved. So, Lori Firstness of St. Petersburg, Florida, I’m calling you out. I’m so damn confident that next year I will bury you at the, “Secondness Annual Black Friday Firstness Competition” that I’ll even tell you where I will be for Black Friday, 2011. You better sit down for this one because it’s gonna be impossible for you to beat……next year you will find me pitching a tent;) out in front of Victoria’s Secret on November 1^st, and you damn well better know I’m gonna snag all the good deals before you even make it through the front door. And just so you know, Lori…..my firstness and lastness goals are to take you down next year and every year from now on, you better believe it’s on!!!

Lori, Please come back and visit us soon. We’ll miss you and be watching for you:-)

The moral of the story: If you’re going to do something a little ummm…’out there’……ummm…..and ummm……when you get interviewed ummm…about it, at least make sure you can ummm….put at least two consecutive coherent sentences together.

© 2010 StrangeRush.com

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COVINGTON, Louisiana-

It was like a scene out of a Law and Order SVU episode or a Stephen King novel. It’s the type of personal nightmare that no one ever wants to face, but unfortunately happens too often. A kidnapping at the expense of a child. But the kidnapping in this particular story fortunately had a happy ending with the child safe and the perp arrested. The man in question, 45-year-old Tim Williams of Lacombe, Louisiana was driving through nearby Covington and ran into the wrong group of people and got himself in trouble.

Williams had limited, if any, criminal history at the time of the incident and his identity was unknown to witnesses. He was spotted driving through Covington in his pickup with a young girl bound and gagged with duct tape sitting in the passenger seat. Other motorists spotted the girl in the truck and acted quickly to call police and several even took it one step further and used their own vehicles to box his truck in, until police were able to arrive and rescue the poor girl.

When a scene like this is read in a good novel or seen played out well in a dramatic television show or movie, the rescue usually leaves readers/viewers with goosebumps. When it happens in real life, and a young girl’s life is saved, it is nothing less than breathtaking.

In my book anyone who takes another person against their will (especially an innocent child) is nothing short of a monster. But this one time I’m gonna have to give Tim Williams a: “Get Out of Monster Jail Free Card” then follow that with a: “You’re a Dumbass Card.” Tim Williams’ victim was his own 12 year old, flesh and blood, daughter…….and he hadn’t even kidnapped her. It was all an elaborate hoax to scare other motorists.

So I guess I don’t know enough about ole Timmy to say he’s a bad guy. For all I know he’s the salt of the Earth. But I can tell you two things for sure…..he was still arrested for criminal mischief and contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and he is definitely a topnotch StrangeRush.com contender for idiot of the year.

The moral of the story: When trying to find ways to entertain your childish mind, and you wake up in the middle of the night with the idea to fake kidnap your own daughter, it’s probably time to check yourself into some sort of idiot rehab.

© 2011 StrangeRush.com

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Georgetown, Kentucky-

I’m not a gambling kind of guy. The most I will do is get $10-$20 worth of tickets when the Mega Millions lotto gets up to a couple hundred million. Most people don’t know that the odds of winning the whole thing (picking 5 numbers, plus the bonus number) are over 1 in 175 million. So the reality is any one person’s chances of winning a mega lotto are astronomically low. Yet, there is a lotto drawing twice a week, and eventually someone always wins the big money and the winners don’t usually seem to be more than a month or two apart (at the most) .

Pamela Ivey of Georgetown, Kentucky, was a lotto player. She went into an Apple Market and played the way she normally did. Ivey picked her numbers, but the clerk who checked her out accidentally used what is called the multiplier feature of the lotto, which added one extra ‘bonus’ number on the end, but also made her ticket go from $5 to $10. Pamela had the option to decline the inadvertently picked multiplier, but instead she glanced at the cashier’s name tag and thought, ‘Oh Susan, don’t do that to me.’

Pamela Ivey couldn’t afford the extra $5, but instead of declining it she went ahead and took it. When she looked for the winning numbers for the lotto drawing, her correctly picked numbers won her an amazing $250,000. But what about the accidental Multiplier number? Well, thanks to cashier Susan’s mistake, the Multiplier was correct too, and Pamela Ivey walked away with a cool million dollars, thanks the the multiplier number (that she didn’t want) quadrupling her winnings. After taxes, Ivey banked $690,000.

The moral of the story: Thank You, Susan!!!! I think someone owes you lunch…..or maybe a new car.

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MONTGOMERY TOWNSHIP, N.J.-

This is one of those laugh out loud moments. It was after hours at a PNC bank in New Jersey. The internal bank alarm sounded and police rushed to the scene. Through the windows of the bank police were able to see at least one person inside. The area was sealed off and three nearby apartment buildings were evacuated as a precaution.

Police negotiators used bullhorns and the telephone in an attempt to make contact with whoever was inside the bank. After repeatedly failing to make contact the SWAT team was instructed to enter the bank, where it identified the assailant as a cardboard figure used for advertising. It was not known what actually set off the alarm.

The moral of the story: While all the city police are busy arresting the cardboard figure, hurry up and rob the bank across town.

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CAMBRIDGE, Minnesota-

Growing up, my sister and I had one particular long term babysitter who watched us for nearly 10 years. During that time period she was a roll model and a bad influence all wrapped in one. There was one thing in particular that she taught my sister and me……and that was how to prank call, and how to do it very well. In a day and age years before caller ID, we anonymously called friends and random numbers, over the years making many calls to unsuspecting people. We asked them various stupid questions, which would conclude with a few giggles then a hangup. It’s been nearly 30 years and a lot has changed in that time (most notably the addition of caller ID) so I’m sure the number of prank calls made in the United States and worldwide have dropped substantially. I personally gave up prank calling many years ago, but I’m not so sure about our old babysitter.

In Cambridge, Minnesota, a poor 69-year-old woman was the target of a nasty and cruel prank caller. The woman was called and threatened 45 times in one day with horrible threats like, “I’m gonna kill you”, “You’re going to die” and “I’m watching you.” Fearing for her life, the terrified woman called the police, and they came to her house to answer calls and hear the caller’s threats with their own ears. With modern technology the calls were easily traced to a 21-year-old female and her 20-year-old accomplice.

The immature and insensitive young ladies each faced five felony counts including harassment. When interviewed the primary prankster said that she was bored and wanted to have some fun. She said she wanted to scare the older victim, but never really wanted her dead. She added that she knew it was wrong to harass the older woman, but didn’t know it was illegal.

I already admitted that with assistance and coaching I’ve made a few prank calls in my time, but even our calls, back in the day, were always of an innocent nature. Our old babysitter had a huge heart and was/is a very good person. She would have never encouraged, nor allowed, us to prank call in a threatening nature. So in my opinion, the judge should throw the book at these two nasty young ladies for scaring the life out of an innocent old lady. But you know things are not that simple on StrangeRush.com, and I know you are expecting more. So let me give you just a little bit more fun to chew on……the primary culprit in this story was prank calling her own grandmother.

The moral of the story: If you’re looking for a immediate and surefire way to cut yourself out of Granny’s will, read and follow the directions above.

© 2011 StrangeRush.com

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 Jordan -

This is for all you hopeless romantics out there, just in time for Valentine’s Day.

This is for all you hopeless romantics out there. Like so many other millions of people worldwide a Jordanian couple, Adnan and Jamila met on the internet and fell madly in love. Using the amazing internet as a vehicle of love, their relationship sizzled as the two young lovers shared dreams, goals, hobbies, values, and made wedding plans for the future. What better love could there possibly be? They had each found their soulmate.

There was only one small problem…..both of the lovers were already married, Adnan to Sanaa and Jamila to Bakr. They were each in a seven month break from their respective spouses, giving them both the time to find their perfect love on the internet, each other. Determined to be together Adnan and Jamila plotted escapes from each of their unhappy marriages, knowing they would be together forever.

So far so good? Well sure, but you know there’s a catch. And the catch occurred on the day they could no longer take it and had to meet in person. They agreed to meet at a bus depot and further plan their wedding. But there would be no wedding necessary, not for these two. They were already married, Adnan was Bakr and Jamila was Sanaa. So much for living happily ever after.

The moral of the story: When you meet someone on the internet and decide you are in love, it’s a wise idea to ask for a picture before you plan the wedding.

(Thanks to my friend who pointed out this story is exactly like the classic song Escape by Rupert Holmes. Watch the video below.)

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ERIE, Pennsylvania-

I suppose anyone who gambles long enough is bound to win some money eventually. Play long enough and the odds are, at some point, you will make a little cash back. But the question is, after years of gambling and dumping thousands upon thousands of dollars into the addiction, and when one finally wins some money, are they ahead of the game or still behind? For most people the answer is behind, after all, if people won more money than they lost, casinos would be out of business. Naturally, over a lifetime, some fortunate people will win more than they donate to the house, but those rare individuals are few and far between.

In Erie, Pennsylvania, an unidentified 55-year-old man didn’t strike it rich on the slot machines at the Erie’s Presque Isle Downs & Casino, but he did win enough to make anyone smile, $2,001 to be exact. If I was a gambler (which I’m not) and I won $2K you’d sure see a big smile on my face. But for this lucky…..then unlucky gambler, his winning take would be promptly removed from him. He didn’t get to keep the winnings because he had been banned from the casino, in fact, he had been banned from all casinos in the entire state. Now, I’ve heard of being banned from one casino, nearly 20 years ago I had a friend get banned from a casino in Las Vegas for gambling before he was 21 years old; but being banned from every casino in the entire state of Pennsylvania seems a little harsh.

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Thank you for your interest in this story. At this time the remainder of this particular StrangeRush story has been taken off the StrangeRush.com website but can still be seen in Stranger Than Fiction: Bizarre Stories That Will Shock and Amaze You volume 1. If you would like to read this story and many other new, never before seen strange and bizarre stories, please click HERE or click on the picture below to visit volume 1 on Amazon.com.

LIVERPOOL, England –

(Please read the post before watching the video below)

Curt Willi Jurant, a German National, was traveling on a weekend flight with his beloved wife Gitta Jurant and his stepdaughter Anke Anusic (both also German) from Liverpool to Berlin. At 91 years old, Mr. Jurant didn’t move well and was in failing health, so the two ladies in his life had to constantly assist him with everything he did. After getting everything ready, the ladies put the old man into a cab with them and headed to Liverpool’s John Lennon Airport. Upon arrival an airport worker assisted the ladies in getting Mr. Jurant out of the cab and into his wheelchair. They wheeled him into the terminal and up to the ticket booth where they started waiting in line.

Andrew Millea, the worker who assisted getting him into the wheelchair alerted his superiors that something wasn’t right. Airport personnel and first aid workers approached Mr. Jurant and his loved ones and inquired about his condition, evidently he was slumped over in his chair. The ladies assured them he was quite all right, that was how he always slept. They asked why he was wearing sunglasses? They said he was blind and one of his eyes was pushed up and quite ugly so they didn’t want people staring at him. They asked about the pale completion off his skin. They said he’s a little pale but that’s the normal color of his skin.

Andrew Millea had alerted his superiors that when he helped get the man out of the cab he was, “Ice cold, and he knew straight away that the man was dead.” (As if you didn’t already know that.) But the ladies had tried to reassure him he was not.

Game over, you’re busted.

Now that the first strange part of this strange story is done, how about the second part? When it was finally determined that the man was in fact dead, both women insisted he was not, that was just the way he was. Finally, when they agreed that he was deceased, they adamantly denied that they knew anything about it, and insisted he was alive when they left home for the 40 mile trip to the airport. Possible? Very unlikely, but sure, I suppose anything’s possible……that is until the coroner’s record stated that Willi had been dead for at least 12 hours……damn Euro cab drivers can’t drive anywhere in a timely manner anymore. It was clear that Willi did die of natural causes, so the ladies were not accused of foul play, but they were arrested and charged with failing to give notification of a death.

To this day, both women deny they knew Curt Willi Jurant was dead when they tried to check him onto a plane. And his poor widow told the BBC of her husband, “He was the best man in the world, my Willi was my God. Willi was a fantastic man and I loved him very much. This is all crazy, I would never do such a thing.”

I’m sure Mrs. Jurant is honestly a grieving widow, and I really do mean that, after all, he did die of natural causes, but she really didn’t know he was dead? Come on, Gitta……something smells a little fishy here.

The moral of the story: When you idiotically try and smuggle your dead husband on to a plane and get caught, at least admit you knew he was dead the whole time.

One final question: Why would they try to smuggle a dead body out of England and into Germany in the first place? Speculation was because it can be very expensive and time consuming to embalm a body, pay for a coffin, and pay freight charged to get it into Germany. It’s much cheaper to get to Germany when you’re alive.

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LAWRENCEVILLE, Georgia-

In an economy that gets tighter and tighter each and every year, with no end in sight, it seems like fewer and fewer companies are giving out yearly bonuses anymore. And the companies that still are, seem to be continuously reducing what “they say” they are able to distribute amongst employees. There is a debate: are bonuses a right or a privilege? In different cases both are true. Some people have bonuses built into their pay structure while others have bonuses that are given as a ‘true’ bonus at the end of the year as a Holiday/Christmas bonus. Commonly now, even end of the year bonuses, which are truly customary, and by no means obligatory for companies, have become an expectation by millions of employees worldwide.

So what about those bonuses that are not required, but companies just give them out because they want to. That’s what happened to 180 employees in Gwinnett County, Georgia. They were given bonuses but ‘after the fact’ county officials decided the bonuses were overpaid. The county’s chief financial officer, Aaron Bovos said a project was started to, “clean up receivables and to eliminate outstanding obligations”……….What the hell does that mean? The county actually wanted to collect back $39,000 in bonuses it paid to 180 employees. County officials blamed it on a payroll anomaly when the county adjusted employees’ payroll cycles. If distributed equally, do the math, that’s $216 dollars per person. Not thousands of dollars each, but still a lot of money, hell, it’s a car payment.

Employees were told they could apply the money to vacation leave or make a cash payment……..So here’s my thinking, I’d go tell the County of Gwinnett to pound sand, or more accurately to, kiss my a—!!! And that’s what I feel any and all of the 180 employees should tell them. But the county asking for these people to return these bonuses is not the real kicker here…….let me lay that part of it on you now. This ‘payroll anomaly’ did not occur on last years payroll, not even on the payroll from two, five, nor even 10 years ago. How about 16 years ago! The GREAT county of Gwinnett, Georgia is asking 180 employees to return a bonus they received in 1994. Are you kidding me? If I were the county’s CFO, Aaron Bovos I’d be embarrassed and ashamed to even ‘think’ about the “clean up receivables and to eliminate outstanding obligations” project. To top off the already ridiculous, I’m sure the county paid someone $40,000 for one year’s salary to uncover this huge clerical mistake.

Question for all you Gwinnett County executives: are any of you the slightest bit embarrassed and ashamed that YOUR county is asking for money back that it GAVE away years and years and years ago, when Bill Clinton was still in the first part of his first term in office? (Wow, that really puts it into perspective).

The moral of the story: If you currently serve in some “official” capacity for the County of Gwinnett, Georgia, save your bonuses, someday they’re gonna want them back.

© 2010 StrangeRush.com

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