OAKLAND, California-

In every one of my previous posts I have written about stories that have occurred in the past. I like time to pass between the event actually occurring and my version of it. That way when you read about it on my blog hopefully it’s new and fresh to you. So for the first time I am going to write about a story that is now a viral video sensation on the internet. It is all over YouTube and many other places on the internet. This is an event that will make any MMA (mixed martial art) fighter proud.

It is a fantastic story that I just couldn’t resist telling. But before I begin, I must make something very clear: The video (linked below) is very racially motivated. But I am going to honestly say it has absolutely nothing to do with race for me. I do not see black and white, all I see is a young thug and older (67 year old) man.

There is no mystery about what happens here. When I saw the video for the first time on YouTube I couldn’t help but laugh. Somehow a verbal argument broke out between an older man and a younger man about ‘spit shining’ the older man’s Stacy Adams (dress shoes). I really don’t know if any racism was intended by the older man, he claims there was not. When the much taller, older man walked away the younger man followed him and persisted in mocking him, trying to intimidate him, and start a fight. The younger man followed the older to the front of the bus then returned to the back. They bantered back and forth until the younger man made a second approach to the older man and clearly put a hand on him. And all that needs to be said is the older man defended himself (see for yourself below, but please note there is violence and vulgarity).

What else is there to say? Someone talked a lot and got their ass handed to them. Rumor has it there may be a rematch in a real MMA cage with a real referee…….NO JOKE. From what I saw it would be over in about 5 seconds, probably not worth pay per view.

The Moral of the story: NOTICE to all bullies out there: You better watch yourself, you never know when that unexpected guy will kick your ass.

© 2010 StrangeRush.com

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SALISBURY, Massachusetts-

It had been 12 long years since 55 year old William Thomson of Everett, Massachusetts had had his run-in with the Salisbury Police Department, and he just couldn’t let it go. Back in 1997 Thompson had created such a disturbance with the Salisbury Police that he felt he needed to apologize for his atrocious actions. Records of his 1997 arrest showed he was charged by the Salisbury Police with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, and malicious destruction of property over $250. He had spent five days in jail for his crimes.

Given the extended duration of time that had passed since the occurrence it seems a little odd that Mr. Thomson would feel such a strong need to apologize, after all, would anyone at the police department even remember the incident? But as the saying goes, “A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.” So I have to give the guy credit for admitting he was wrong and standing up and being a man. In an attempt to show his sincere remorse for what happened in 1997, Mr. Thomson walked into the Salisbury Police station with three large cups of coffee and told a dispatcher he wanted to apologize for what happened 12 years before. I would imagine the reaction he got was something along the lines of let bygones be bygones. I mean shoot, how often do former criminals walk into a police station after 12 years and profess their sincere sorrow?

Following Mr. Thomson’s emotional and long overdue reunion, the excitement for the Salisbury police was not quite over. Just after 1am the next morning, a Salisbury police officer pulled up on a vehicle on the side of the road that had its engine still running. The officer initially thought the vehicle was empty, but upon further inspection noted a man slumped over on to the passenger seat, passed out. In an attempt to wake him the officer yelled at him repeatedly then eventually began shaking his left arm. After about five seconds the man awoke and yelled at the officer, “Hey, what are you doing?” The officer grabbed a beer can that was in the driver’s possession and grabbed a second can that was in the car. At some point the man exited the vehicle. The officer said the man smelled of alcohol and his speech was slurred. When asked where he was, the man stated he was at Revere Beach (which is about 35 miles south of Salisbury).

The man then began to scream at the officer that he was in the Marine Corps and a former jail guard and demanded to know why the officer was doing this to him. The man attempted to get back in his car and that was when the officer pinned him to the door. The man fought back and took a wild swing at the officer, but was eventually placed under arrest and put into a police cruiser. Upon searching the car police found an excess of both full and empty beer cans.

When police got him to the jail and started the booking process he became even more hostile and screamed and yelled nonstop at officers. According to the report on the incident, the man threatened one officer by saying he had friends in the Irish mob who would find out where the officer lived and take care of him. He also said his friends would break officer’s knees if he was lucky, and he said he was in the Marine Corps combat fighting school and was a brown belt. He rambled on about how he served the country and wanted to know what branch the officer served in, the Salvation Army?

Eventually, when they got to the Breathalyzer test, officers uncuffed him and he proceeded to lunge at the Breathalyzer machine and punched it full force. That was when officers placed him in an arm bar and roughly escorted him into a holding cell. At that point he did his best to flood the cell with the toilet and sink water and all water to the cell had to be shut off.

With these two separate storied that the Salisbury Police had to deal with, within a 24 hour period, you have two very different endings. On the one hand you have a very heart warming and repentant story of a man who knew he had screwed up many years before, and just wanted to make it right. On the other hand you have a crazy drunk guy acting very much like the man in the first story had 12 years before.

And for the record, these are not two separate stories tied together simply by the Salisbury Police Department. This is one ongoing story. The drunk guy pulled out of the car at 1am, who created the huge scene, was again, Mr. William Thomson of Everett, Massachusetts.

The moral of the story: In 2021 when William Thomson shows up at the Salisbury Police Department with six cups of coffee, they might as well just lock him up right then.

© 2009 StrangeRush.com

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NEW YORK-

Many people believe we live in a sue happy society, where anyone can, and will, sue anyone else at any time, for any reason. And I tend to agree. One can never be too careful because at any time they could have a lawyer breathing down their neck demanding money or threatening a lawsuit. In many cases the person or company being sued may genuinely have reason to worry, while at other times they can laugh in the face of their accuser.

There was a recent case in which a disgruntled customer went after a company, who Forbes.com lists as the 38 largest company in the entire world. In this case, the complainant, Dalton Chiscolm of somewhere in New York, contended he placed a series of calls to Bank of America and said a ‘Spanish lady’ gave him inconsistent information and that checks were rejected because of incomplete routing numbers. This really really pissed him off. So, over a customer service issue, and no personal loss of anything monetary or tangible, Mr. Chiscolm decided he would sue the gigantic bank for a whole lotta cash.

Now, I’m the first guy who will stand up and say how upset I have been at times with big business (However, I’ve never had an issue with B of A). With as much as the average person deals with big business on a daily basis, disputes and unhappy customers are bound to happen, and are expected. That’s why every company has customer service managers, and in many cases dispute resolution departments. I can understand the frustration this man was feeling, as I am sure you can too, even if he brought it on himself by being a pain in the ass. We’ve all been there with big business. But three things immediately come to mind about this story. 1) If you are going to sue the 38^th largest company in the world you better have a solid game plan and an army of good attorneys to back you up (because Big Business sure as hell will). 2) If you are going to sue, make sure you have a solid reason to do so, not just that they pissed you off with bad customer service (and in this case there isn’t even proof there was any bad customer service, this could simply be a case of ‘idiot customer’, which makes sense given the terms of proposed lawsuit). 3) And finally, if you are going to sue, at least be realistic with your demands and the monetary number being requested.

Evidently, the brilliant Mr. Chiscolm demanded that B of A deposit a very large sum of money into his account the next day. Somehow, Mr. Chiscolm found a way to have a judge look at his case and U.S. District Judge Denny Chin ordered the plaintiff to ‘show cause’ or the suit would be dismissed.

Ultimately, it is quite obvious B of A had absolutely nothing to worry about. It may have cost them a few thousand dollars to get an attorney or two to deal with this crazy consumer, but that’s chump change for them. I suppose you are wondering what this ‘LARGE sum of money was’? OK……are you ready for this? Mr. Chiscolm demanded B of A give him 1,784 billion, trillion dollars. Or maybe this will put it into better perspective: $1,784,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. On top of this idiotic amount, he also demanded an additional $200,164,000 for reasons not clear. Shit, Dalton, why didn’t you just make it an even $1,784,000,000,000,000, 200,164,000 so that additional $200,164,000 didn’t stand out so much?

The moral of the story: The world is FULL of idiots and there is absolutely NOTHING anyone can do about it.

© 2009 StrangeRush.com

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HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania-

Despite already having collected numerous ‘dumb criminal’ stories that I have yet to write about, I still feel myself shying away from them. It seems as though there are about five different types of dumb criminal stories, with slight variations making each of them semi-unique. And haven’t we already heard about all the dumb criminals in the world through traditional media? This particular story, however, I found to be totally unique and the stupidity of this dumb criminal seems unprecedented.

Fifty-six year old John Comparetto had some business to take care of so naturally he went to the restroom and did his thing. As he was exiting the stall an unknown man approached him and pointed a 40-caliber handgun three inches away from his face and demanded money. Not wanting to die, Comparetto complied and handed over his money and the thief took off. So far so good? This is where it gets really interesting.

This idiotic criminal, 19 year old Jerome Blanchett, had no idea who he was messing with. Comparetto was a retired NYPD lieutenant with 26 years of service. Okay, mugging a 56 year-old retired, plain clothed, NYPD lieutenant does not make you a dumb criminal does it? Heck, it could happen to anyone.

The restroom Comparetto was in was in a convention center in Pennsylvania and while entering the convention center the brilliant Mr. Blanchett walked by a BIG poster that read, ‘WELCOME NARCOTICS OFFICERS.’ Comparetto was a guest speaker at a Police Officers Convention, and in the next room there were 300 narcotics officers from Pennsylvania and Ohio. Mr. Brilliant was immediately arrested as he tried to escape in a taxi. Comparetto said there were 10 officers there to assist him within a split-second.

To put the icing on the cake, when Mr. Brilliant was arraigned a reporter asked him for a comment as he was led out of court, his response, “I’m smooth.” Hey jackass, you’re not smooth, you’re an idiot.

The moral of the story: When attempting to rob someone, if there is a big poster that reads ‘WELCOME NARCOTICS OFFICERS’ it may be best to come back another day.

© 2009 StrangeRush.com

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MONTGOMERY TOWNSHIP, N.J.-

This is one of those laugh out loud moments and one of my favorite stories. It was after hours at a PNC bank in New Jersey. The internal bank alarm sounded and police rushed to the scene. Through the windows of the bank police were able to see at least one person inside. The area was sealed off and three nearby apartment buildings were evacuated as a precaution.

Police negotiators used bullhorns and the telephone in an attempt to make contact with whoever was inside the bank. After repeatedly failing to make contact the SWAT team was instructed to enter the bank, where it identified the assailant as a cardboard figure used for advertising. It was not known what actually set off the alarm.

The moral of the story: While all the city police are arresting the cardboard figure, hurry and rob the bank across town.

© 2009 StrangeRush.com

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JEFFERSONVILLE, Indiana –

What a night Jeffersonville City Council’s attorney, Larry Wilder had. Or should we say, it appears he had. Wilder is not exactly sure what happened, all he can say at this point is he’s ‘embarrassed’. On Tuesday night Wilder went out with friends for drinks, then dinner, then more drinks. He was later dropped off at home by a client’s limo. And the rest is history. On Wednesday morning, Wilder’s neighbor found good ol’ Larry asleep, headfirst in the neighbor’s garbage can. I could be wrong, but  it sounds like someone slipped Lawrence some Roofies.

Hey, Larry, I’d be embarrassed too.

The Moral of the story: If you’re gonna black out, make sure someone gets you into your house first.

© 2009 StrangeRush.com

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