You’re Never Too Old
VALLEJO, California-
One of the greatest joys in any child’s life is having their mommy or daddy push them on a swing. They feel the breeze in their hair and the rush from the ground moving quickly beneath them. So simple, yet so exciting. Eventually, when they’re able to hold on to the chains and stabilize themselves and swing unassisted, they’ll graduate to the ‘big kid’ swing. But before getting to that independent time in their young lives, every little one must start with the kiddie swing. The kiddie swing protects every child, who doesn’t have the strength nor dexterity, from landing flat on their face; likewise, it helps relieve a parent’s anxious nerves. The kiddie swing supports the child’s whole body without the fear of them falling.
To parents, the beauty of the kiddie swing is how safe and stable it is, so their little tyke can have some independence during their few minutes of bliss. The thick plastic is shaped in such a way that there’s nearly no way any toddler could ever fall out, which gives the reassurance to all parents that if their beloved little one wants to swing “higher” there really is no risk. The simple joys of childhood.
Some adults are not able to leave their glorious childhood days of swinging in the past. But there’s really nothing wrong with an adult sitting in a swing and swinging all their worries away, after all, it can be very soothing and therapeutic. The problem with swinging as an adult is when that person decides they want to take it one step further and actually swing a kiddie swing……..you know, the one that’s shaped like a big plastic diaper. Naturally, most adults could never fit into a kiddie swing……but for a select few, just add a little something slippery and splash……..right into the plastic diaper they go!
A 21-year-old Vallejo, California man decided on a $100 bet that he COULD fit into a kiddie swing. He lubed himself up with liquid laundry detergent and slid his way right into the $100. His real trouble began when the diaper swing was securely wrapped around his legs, waist, and ass, because that’s when his buddies split on him, leaving the helpless man soaked in detergent, but more importantly, completely stuck. He had no leverage to get himself out.
Good friends would run and hide in the bushes, laughing their asses off all the way, letting him sweat it for 10 minutes……..bad friends would run and hide in the bushes and return an hour later……..REALLY bad friends are the ones who run and never come back.
And that’s exactly what happened to this adventurous young lad. His buddies never came back to save him from his plastic diaper of doom. It wasn’t until morning, nine hours later, that a Blue Rock Springs Park groundskeeper heard his desperate cries for help. Firefighters came and cut the chains, then took the tired daredevil to the hospital, where a cast cutter was used to free him from his nine-hours of damnation.
The moral of the story: On a dare, if you feel the need to lube up and slide into a diaper swing, it’s perfectly okay……just be sure you have good friends who will be there to pull you out.
