SEBASTIAN, Florida-

Timmie Jordan was retired and doing quite well collecting her military survivor’s benefit and social security checks. Between 2003 and early 2009 she had collected nearly $240,000, about $36,000 a year. Not bad for a retired senior citizen. The strange part of the story is since 2003 she had collected every bit of her income without ever once leaving her bed.

Then, one day in 2009 there was a report to police about menacing cats on her property and they went to investigate. While there the police found the even stranger part of the story, why Mrs. Jordan had not left her bed in over six years: she was dead. She had evidently died of natural causes in 2003 and now lay there nearly completely decayed. Penelope Sharon Jordan, Timmie Jordan’s daughter, had concealed her mother’s death because she said she did not have the money for burial expenses. And I say each year Penelope Jordan had 36,000 other reasons not bury her mother. And at 61 years of age, Penelope Jordan had her payday and now it was time for her to pay it back, with up to 15 years behind bars.

The Moral of the story: If you’re going to keep your beloved mother rotting away in her bed all while defrauding the government, you better be prepared to pay it back by carving out license plates.

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