Archive for October 2009
BERLIN, Germany-
You wait your whole life for the big day. They day you can walk down the isle and say “I do” to the love of your life. The person you have been courting and waiting to be with your whole life, “Till death do us part,” you proclaim. You are so happy.
Well, that’s the plan anyway. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on who you are, a Polish couple living in Germany didn’t quite make it to that life time commitment. A 50 year old man and 34 year old woman married, then decided they hated each other on the same day. He proclaimed, “He never wanted to see her again and wanted an immediate annulment, and she said the same thing.”
There is no word as to whether they got the annulment or a divorce, heck in this day and age maybe they even reconciled their differences and stayed together.
The moral of the story: You better be damn sure that is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with before you walk down the isle.
© 2009 StrangeRush.com
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RIGA, Latvia-
Dictionary.com defines collateral as: security pledged for the payment of a loan. When I think of collateral I think of jewelry, a car, a house (or property), or some other form of personal property with value. Basically, something tangible that can be handed over in the event a monetary loan cannot, or is not, repaid.
Latvia is not a place that we often hear about. So, for those of you who do not know where it is, Latvia is a European country that sits squeezed between the Baltic Sea and western Russia. In Latvia the economic crisis has been out of control for a long time, a lot longer than the rest of the European Union. Unemployment has been steadily rising, causing banks to be very stingy in handing out loans, and overall making it very difficult for consumers to attain personal loans. (Interestingly, it looks as though I have a couple of readers of my blog from different parts of Latvia, thank you for your interest:)
One small loan company in Latvia called Kontora has been making it much easier for consumers to attain minimal personal loans and Viktor Mirosiichenko is the man who heads up this program for Kontora. Mirosiichenko says that consumers can easily get (high interest) loans for up to $500 lasting for up to 90 days and ALL that is required for the loan is a first name (no last name, address, nor phone number is required). In addition, no collateral is required either. Mirosiichenko says that should the borrower not repay the loan, neither he nor Kontora will ever employ debt collectors to get the money back, and also promised no physical violence would ever occur.
So basically it looks as though any schmuck who wants a free $500 can easily get it in Latvia? But wait a second……could there be a catch?
Yes, there certainly is a catch. When I wrote that no collateral is required, what I should have written is no ‘physical’ collateral is required. Kontora is writing loans for people with only a first name provided, but the borrower must sign a contract, with the words “Agreement” in bold letters at the top and the client agrees to the ‘non-physical’ collateral of “my immortal soul.”
Yes, that’s right. All borrowers must pledge their ‘eternal souls’ as collateral to the high interest loan. Should they not repay the loan, Mirosiichenko says, “They won’t have a soul, that’s all.” To me, this sounds like a study in human behavior, conscience, and the belief in life after death. I wonder if there is a University Sociology Department somewhere behind this very odd loan program?
The moral of the story: Some loans are high interest in more ways than one.
© 2009 StrangeRush.com
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STATEN ISLAND, NY-
I send text messages. So do all my friends, family members, and co-workers. Heck, just a couple of months ago my mom came out of the dark ages and finally joined the party. It seems like nearly everyone sends text messages these days. Shoot, I admit that I even text when I probably shouldn’t be, but don’t we all? For those few out there who don’t know what a text message is let me briefly explain: A text message is a short written message typed out using the key pad that is typically sent from one cellular phone to another, making brief conversations extremely convenient and even fun.
Some people text 5-10 times a day, while others text hundreds of times a day (I believe I’m in the 25-50 range). There have even been stories of select people (nearly always teenagers) who text thousands of times a day…….yes, I did say thousands). In one case there were a couple of close friends who each sent over 200,000 texts in one month (Of course, I’ll have a future post on that story).
However, this is not a story about a teenager who sent an outrageous number of text messages. This is a story about a poor young lady who was so in sync with her cell phone that it nearly killed her. How could a cell phone and text messaging nearly kill someone you ask?
Imagine you’re walking down the street, minding your own business while carrying on a rapid fire texting conversation with your close buddy. You are so good at texting and so is your friend that the conversation moves at a pace not much different than a real phone conversation. You and your phone are one.
The next thing you know the Earth opens up swallows you whole and you are in near darkness bathing in the smelliest, nastiest bath tub you could ever imagine. This is exactly what happened to Alexa Longueira, a high school sophomore, as she was walking along Victory Boulevard near Travis Avenue on Staten Island.
Alexa later came to find out that two workers with the New York City Department of Environmental Protection inadvertently failed to close the lid on a manhole as they prepared to flush the sewer, also forgetting to secure the area. Alexa, blinded by her phone, was oblivious to her surroundings and plunged down the manhole to near disaster. Luckily, for Alexa, she appeared to only suffer deep cuts and bruises, but was going to have an MRI to make sure she did not suffer any spinal injury.
The moral of the story: Never drink and drive and NEVER text and walk.
© 2009 StrangeRush.com
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Bountiful, Utah-
OK, so right up front I’m expecting a little grief for this post, but you gotta live a little dangerously every so often, don’t you? And let me just put it out there that I absolutely DO NOT condone this sort of behavior in any way. But I still find it strange enough for StrangeRush.com.
When you were in the 7th grade you thought Johnny (Fill in the Blank) was the resident ladies man? That one kid who seemed to have all the girlfriends. Well, evidently you’ve never heard of this Utah youngster. This young man who we’ll call Romeo had the good fortune, or bad fortune, depending on how you look at it, to bed not one, but two of his much older female teachers. Now, as sick at this sounds, and it truly is, there are those guys out there who are reciting the classic line from the movie Napoleon Dynamite, “Lucky.” It may not be PC, but it’s true, somewhere, within this story is nearly every guys middle school fantasy.
All joking aside, this 13 year old, junior high school boy/Romeo somehow created a love triangle with himself and two of his teachers, 46 year old Linda and 39 year old Valynne. It appears it all began innocently enough when the two teachers separately starting talking to the boy about his personal problems, which led to inappropriate text messages, then phone sex, followed by sexual assaults on the teenager. Neither teacher was aware of the other’s involvement with him and Linda confessed to police that her sexual involvement with the boy lasted for a span of 14 months.
Obviously, it is not okay for these women to exhibit this sort of behavior, but my bet is this young Romeo had some idea about what he was doing;)
The Moral of the story: No moral, just admit it guys, you’re jealous.
© 2009 StrangeRush.com
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CAMDEN, N.J. –
This story almost sounds like it came out of a B-rate horror flick. It’s a sad story, but absolutely true. On a Wednesday morning a 29 year old temporary worker in a New Jersey chocolate processing plant was working in an area where he was mixing and melting raw chocolate when a blade used for the mixing hit him and knocked him into the 8-foot-deep vat. Co-workers turned off the machine and tried in vain to pull the man out of the chocolate, but were unsuccessful.
The moral of the story: Just a sad story.
© 2009 StrangeRush.com
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His face and some personal information have been blurred in order to protect his anonymity.
DUBLIN, Ireland-
It took Irish police a long time to catch up to the countries most notorious, habitual traffic offender ever. He was able to effectively elude police, all while racking up 50 traffic offenses. His secret? Police had the 50 tickets for this culprit, but each and every time he had moved to a new address, making it nearly impossible for police to catch up to him (That’s quite an elaborate scheme, moving that frequently he must be rich). And to complicate his preference for a new dwelling, he didn’t even reside in Ireland. So he gets a traffic ticket, returns to his home country, moves, then returns to Ireland again and gets another traffic ticket.
This habitual traffic offender was Polish (Yeah yeah yeah, I can hear all the Polish jokes already starting). So who was this elusive masked man? None other than the infamous Mr. Prawo Jazdy. Never heard of him? Well, neither had I.
Just as Juan translates to John and Roberto to Robert, I’m sure Prawo Jazdy also has an English translation. Let me just say, if I decided to move to Poland and change my name to Mr. Prawo Jazdy, when I returned to America I would be known as……..Mr. Driving License.
Bah-Dum-Bump!!!
(For those of you who didn’t get it like my wife, Prawo Jazdy means Driving License in Polish:-)
The moral of the story: When a cop, it’s probably wise to get acquainted with the various Driver Licenses from nearby countries.
© 2009 StrangeRush.com
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23
Where Are You, Dear?
0 Comments | Posted by Ryan in I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up, Respect Your Elders
MARGATE, FL -
An elderly South Florida man, we’ll call Jack, has always been a very sweet and caring man. For his entire marriage, Jack has always taken the best possible care he could of his beloved wife, who we’ll call Margaret. On this particular Tuesday in southeast Florida it was raining pretty hard. Jack, being the caring husband that he he is, decided he would back the car as close to the house as possible so Margaret did not have to get wet. After backing the car into place he waited for a few minutes. When Margaret didn’t enter the car Jack went back into the house to find her. Jack was inside looking for several minutes with no success.
Jack had no idea where his wife had gone until a neighbor found Margaret stuck underneath the car. Jack had backed over her and she was pinned beneath it. Firefighters showed up and had to use airbags to lift the car off of her. The good news: she was expected to make a full recovery.
The moral of the story: It REALLY is the thought that counts.
© 2009 StrangeRush.com
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21
Seriously, The World’s Dumbest Criminal
0 Comments | Posted by Ryan in I'm an Idiot, The Best of StrangeRush.com
HARRISBURG, Pennsylvania-
Despite already having collected numerous ‘dumb criminal’ stories that I have yet to write about, I still feel myself shying away from them. It seems as though there are about five different types of dumb criminal stories, with slight variations making each of them semi-unique. And haven’t we already heard about all the dumb criminals in the world through traditional media? This particular story, however, I found to be totally unique and the stupidity of this dumb criminal seems unprecedented.
Fifty-six year old John Comparetto had some business to take care of so naturally he went to the restroom and did his thing. As he was exiting the stall an unknown man approached him and pointed a 40-caliber handgun three inches away from his face and demanded money. Not wanting to die, Comparetto complied and handed over his money and the thief took off. So far so good? This is where it gets really interesting.
This idiotic criminal, 19 year old Jerome Blanchett, had no idea who he was messing with. Comparetto was a retired NYPD lieutenant with 26 years of service. Okay, mugging a 56 year-old retired, plain clothed, NYPD lieutenant does not make you a dumb criminal does it? Heck, it could happen to anyone.
The restroom Comparetto was in was in a convention center in Pennsylvania and while entering the convention center the brilliant Mr. Blanchett walked by a BIG poster that read, ‘WELCOME NARCOTICS OFFICERS.’ Comparetto was a guest speaker at a Police Officers Convention, and in the next room there were 300 narcotics officers from Pennsylvania and Ohio. Mr. Brilliant was immediately arrested as he tried to escape in a taxi. Comparetto said there were 10 officers there to assist him within a split-second.
To put the icing on the cake, when Mr. Brilliant was arraigned a reporter asked him for a comment as he was led out of court, his response, “I’m smooth.” Hey jackass, you’re not smooth, you’re an idiot.
The moral of the story: When attempting to rob someone, if there is a big poster that reads ‘WELCOME NARCOTICS OFFICERS’ it may be best to come back another day.
© 2009 StrangeRush.com
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KANNAPOLIS, N.C. -
This is one of those sick and disgusting stories that is not the slightest bit funny and is absolutely unbelievable. But, when you consider the sick and twisted world we live in, it doesn’t surprise me too much, as I am sure there are many other men out there that would get off on something like this.
Craigslist has long been a symbol of free commerce and advertising on the internet. In fact, according to Alexa.com, Craigslist has been online since 1997 and ranks as the 8th most visited website in the United States and 29th most visited in the world. Each day millions of people use it to buy and sell anything and everything imaginable. But Craigslist does have a darker and more controversial side to it. Most markets have ‘Adult’ and/or ‘Erotic Services’ themed ads that allow consenting adults the ability to ‘hook up’ and do whatever it is that they do.
But what happens when the ‘consenting’ aspect is removed from the equation? This is exactly what happened in Kannapolis, North Carolina about 25 miles northeast of Charlotte. A 25-year old man used the popular website to solicit another man to come into his home and rape his wife at knife point while he watched. Evidently, this disgusting rape scenario had been a fantasy this sicko needed to fulfill. Not only was his fantasy fulfilled and the rape took place, but there were two children in the home at the time, who were luckily unaware of what was going on. The woman described the event as traumatizing and said it was the worst thing that has ever happened to her. Uhhhhhh, I would say so.
The moral of the story: No moral. Just that the world can be a sick place.
© 2009 StrangeRush.com
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19
I’m Sorry To Inform You That Your Husband Has Passed Away
0 Comments | Posted by Ryan in A Very Bad Day
CARACAS, Venezuela-
It sounds like a script right out of a horror flick. Imagine the misery Mrs. Camejo of Caracas, Venezuela felt as she drove to the morgue to identify her dead husband’s body. 33 year-old Carlos had been killed in a highway traffic accident.
The morticians had just begun the autopsy and were cutting into Carlos’ face when they noticed something was very wrong. His corpse was bleeding and corpses aren’t supposed to bleed. They quickly stitched up his face. Soon Carlos woke up because he said, “The pain was unbearable.”
When his grieving wife showed up at the morgue, she found out that her husband had been moved into the corridor and was still alive.
The Moral of the story: If there’s still a pulse, odds are he’s still alive.
© 2009 StrangeRush.com
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